Let Me Find Out!

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

If a Man Wants You

something I found in passing...

If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away.

If he doesn’t want you, nothing can make him stay.

Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior.

Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache.

Stop trying to change yourselves for a relationship that’s not meant to be.

Slower is better.

Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy.

If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve then heck no, you can’t "be friends."

A friend wouldn’t mistreat a friend.

Don’t settle. If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is.

Don’t stay because you think "it will get better." You’ll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better.

The only person you can control in a relationship is you.

Avoid men who’ve got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women. He didn’t marry them when he got them pregnant, why would he treat you any differently?

Always have your own set of friends separate from his.

Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you.

If something bothers you, speak up.

Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later.

You cannot change a man’s behavior. Change comes from within.

Don’t EVER make him feel he is more important than you are...even if he has more education or in a better job. Do not make him into a quasi-god.

He is a man, nothing more nothing less.

Never let a man define who you are.

Never borrow someone else’s man.

Oh Lord! If he cheated with you, he’ll cheat on you.

A man will only treat you the way you allow him to treat you.

All men are not dogs.

You should not be the one doing all the bending...compromise is a two-way street.

You need time to heal between relationships...There is nothing cute about baggage.

Deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship.

You should never look for someone to complete you. A relationship consists of two whole individuals. Look for someone complimentary, not supplementary.

Dating is fun; even if he doesn’t turn out to be Mr. Right.

Make him miss you sometimes. When a man always knows where you are, and you’re always readily available to him — he takes it for granted.

Don’t fully commit to a man who doesn’t give you everything that you need.

Keep him in your radar but get to know others.

Share this with other ladies.
You’ll make someone smile, another rethink her choices, and another woman prepare.

They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them, and an entire lifetime to forget them.

Via here.

Monday, December 19, 2011

The Open Marriage Argument

I know the topic of open marriages can be spoken about until ears bleed... but I thought this was quite an interesting read. Especially with the idea of forever for me getting closer and closer by the payment, I mean day. :)

But this topic of open marriages has created some very interesting dialog. And raises questions and concerns... like are we just talking a sexual relationship? Is it "just sex" or full on relationships outside of your union?

I think while women would more than likely seek that romance of a full-blown love affair (when hubbies get too comfortable and stop rubbing feet, sending random flowers and watching her favorite show with her) men would more often seek a physical getaway (she gives good head, or does things the wife won't do)... or at least that's what would begin to develop on both side. But (and excuse me if my "newlywed" is showing but) couldn't this be something to incorporate into your marriage already with just the two of you? Try a little more outside-the-box activity in the bedroom. New places, new position, role play, devices? Create date nights where you court each other and flirt and cuddle like when you were dating with/without children?

And speaking of the children, could you do this without the knowledge of your children? How? Doesn't this require a lot of energy?

I truly do not like to share. And I would hope the mere idea of another man caressing, flirting with, kissing, penetrating and nibbling me would drive my husband so insane he wouldn't want something like that to come between us... but is that then how the Open Marriage turns volatile? Where it's no longer an honest discussion and open discussion and now considered adultery. What say you?

"Could you see yourself engaging in an open relationship? If so, what types of rules would you impose on such an arrangement?"

Will Open Relationships Cure the "Great Black Love Scare?"

Sunday, November 20, 2011

Ex-Wives and (Step) Children...

When I was 21 I said I would never date a man with kids because I didn't want to deal with the drama that was their mommas... or disciplining.. or any of that shit. But then again, I also said I would never be in debt or date a white man... so what I'm saying is, things change.

A decade later, I find myself marrying my best friend. He's a beautiful, loving man with a
child..... and I must say it's everything I thought it would be. Like I assumed, it's not like on TV where everyone is not bitter, blended and loving and inclusive. And it's a weird adjustment. And it sucks cause I don't have anyone (with sense) to really ask if THIS should be happening or how I should handle THAT... or am I just bein RBGish and overreacting.

So I try to play each situation by ear. Yeah, well, I'm off beat and outta tune like a mf'er... *sigh*

Ya'll pray for me. LBVFS!