The Best I Eva Had

"U da fuckin best"

The Relationship Queen...

I must say that after processing all the emotion that has come with the last seven months, it's rather relieving to not be worried about the stress and problems of relationships.. my splits never really last long. My frat brother always jokes "So what's goin on? I kno you don't stay on the market long!" But hell, it's not as flattering a compliment if all men want to do is just DATE you. haha! But whatevs... so I had really, literally, been in a relationship since I was a teenager, engaged at 15 even!

The only and first intentional break was in 2004 right after breaking up with PPC... I needed to really re-assess myself. And it was fun and I enjoyed it. Sex with no strings attached, several dates a week, intellectual conversations with versatile minds... I had a ball.

So the breather has been nice... but I've found at my wiser age.. I don't have time to sleep with someone no strings attached... so I'm not gonna. And it really isn't my style anyway... plus I always only have one partner at a time, so that kinda takes the excitement out of the concept.

I learned exactly who I was in my time away and saw so many traits of myself that I wanted and needed to work on. And am proud to say I am working on them... we're all works in progress aftaall but it's important to work on self before throwin all that onto someone else's plate...

I am enjoying, finally finally, enjoying coming full center with my emotions. No anger. No sadness. No jealousy. No insecurity... just lil ol me, happy, vibrant, confident, not snippy nor attitudinal... talkin through things versus yelling, screaming, crying, giving up... yes...

Sometimes I remember the disappointment. I mean, several things didn't turn out the way I expected, thought or would have ever imagined they would... and I am sure He has more surprises in store... but I am trusting in Him... and gwan with the flow. I no longer need to jump in and out of relationships... on and off the market... gonna make it do what it do and be what it must... yoouuuu diiiig.