Just Saying Hello...

I'm working on a very large piece.... like so large I'ma need a lot of pics to make you feel like it's not that large. A lot of truths are gonna be revealed for me. Some people, myself included, probably aren't gonna like it. But it's all got to come out or something bad's gonna happen. ...well, not bad...that sounds dangerous.

To my silent partners/readers and snoopin ex boyfriends who read this blog: I'm still here.

I'm very well... I could be better. But couldn't we all?

Until the return..... keep smiling!

~*RBG*~

H-A-Double U-A-Eye-Eye!

"Ma$e can you please stop smokin La La? Puff why try, I'ma thug I'ma die high!"

Exactly 3 months till the honey and I venture to the islands of Hawaii for his 30th Bday and my MISSION is to be 20 lbs lighter. I often frown on deadline-oriented goals. Because even though they are effective, they can be damaging because people put back on the pounds directly after they are done traveling, with the engagement, ceremony or whatever special occasion it is. (I will NOT be one of those people.... no, but forreal. If anything this trip is just what I needed to get serious.)

The Y had a special on summer memberships again, so I got in on that. $25 a month for the family and I to use any Y in the Metro Chicago area. I will be focusing on 10,000 steps a day, a morning workout via Chalene Extreme (starting Sunday morning), lunchtime workouts that started this week, evening strolls with my Soror and our youth on Mondays and Wednesdays (resuming next week, the weather has sucked this week - Midwest-like "tornado" yesterday and all) and a couple evening workouts at my neighborhood Y on lighter days. In all 6 days of working out, but one is more Tai Chi/Yoga/Stretch related so it's really a "rest day" too. I wrote it all out yesterday. In addition, I will still be following the good health guidelines of WW.. no fad diets for me. I will also be participating in a couple Mommy and Me classes they offer with my sun. Gymnstics and Kiddie Groove to name a couple!

All that being said, my MISSION is 20 lbs but I will be more than satisfied with 12-16 (you know weight loss is a strange beast) but I'm confident 20 won't be too far a stretch. In addition, in Hawaii, I WILL be 1. wearing bikinis (I've already started to look for them because this will make sure I don't overeat; can't be walking round Hawaii with a big ol gut!) 2. doing activities that don't just involve lying on the beach (I've already purchased a hiking excursion, debating on another because it takes a great part of one day away from us... but it has waterfalls!) and 3. using the fitness center. Plus 4. enjoying in-room activities.

Super excited. I've never been to Hawaii before... and I hear it's expensive, but well worth the visit. We'll both be 30, it's time to start living life and enjoying all its blessings. Right, bra? (a lil Hawaii slang... just cuz!)

The storm is over now... let some sunshine in.

I got a the job!

Shaaa-na-naaa-nah... Sha-na-na-nanah!

Whew... after what might be the best week ever... in months... I find myself gainfully employed again with a company with growth opportunities and what could possibly be the best team ever. I hope it's as good as it makes me feel right now...

Paperwork Wednesday...

Start after Labor Day... I should start looking into day cares... yes.

But for now, I celebrate.

Cosmos with muh girls... it's a CELEBRATION!

You Just Do You...

"I'ma do me!"

I'm tired blog world.

Life and times of RBG have been one for the record books in 2009.

Ups and downs, twists and turns, smiles and hollers and tears from the wind... just like a roller coaster.

An emotional roller coaster... man, I loved that song. It's a shame I can't listen to it now because I have bad memories of it. I'm kicking ass in the gym... which is nice, but I stay draggin. My house hasn't been RBG clean in months and people I love(d) keep contradicting themselves... it's all too much. I don't have the concentration to focus on studying for my certs... I don't have the desire to look for a (better) gig because I'm starting to doubt myself as a professional... starting to worry that I really don't work well for others.. can't keep my mouth shut.. always wanting to speak my mind... thinkin I kno what's best... OK, I usually do, but still.... *SIGH*

I'm tired. Starting to doubt the sanctity of marriage or hell monogamous relationships for that matter. Starting to wonder if I can do either or will ever be able to without wanting to slap the dog shit out of my partner. If I'll have any more children. Wondering if toddlers are really evil little adorable beings sent from the Planet Twubble. Just thinkin and wondering way too much, really. I am certain it has a lot to do with me turning 30 in January. Even though 30 is still young and I'm fairly vibrant, it's still associated with getting older... I... am getting... older... word??? And with old age comes death... and I don't want to die.... you know, like ... ever. lol

I always look at people sideways when they're like, "I ain't afraid to die!" or "I'm ready to meet Jesus." Ummmm well let me be the first real b*tch to say, I AM afraid; and I am sure he's very nice but I don't want to meet him anytime soon. Also something I wonder/worry about... so many religions to choose from... none that 100% satisfy me... it's annoying. I know I am capable of living right, doing right, being right but when will I be ready. Which on is right? If I choose this one and I get "there" and it's not the right choice then what?! I'm screwed. I was takin my aggression on on the treadmill (well still am) and several other endorphin-building activities, but then I hurt my knee which slowed me down some.

Speaking of running... I kinda wanna run away some days. Did I already say I could use need a vacation?

With all that said, things are on the up and up.. lol And just like that, getting all that off my chest, I'm exhausted now. Yet, I can't go to sleep... *looks over at crazy toddler* is this justice?

Observations...

A few things I've observed over the last couple days....

Spring Snow Storm

So, I looked out my window this morning to this.... Mother Nature... stop playin! April is in 3 days!

My excellent cheese omelet breakfast:
In honor of the snow, I made a real breakfast for the first time in like two weeks. Cheese omelet, hashbrowns wid onion and turkey sausage... yumtastic.



Cowardly Behavior
People who read my blog daily and vandalize it then run and hide by closing their blog to public eye are funny!

One Time For Ya Mind...

I'm thinking about detoxing... with every facet of my life pleasing me, my waistline started tryin to grow on me. I am double cursed because I eat when I am distressed and I eat when I get comfortable and happy with certain situations, people, relationships. Now, the comfortability wouldn't be such a bad thing if I was still in my best shape and as active as I once was. But I am working on that. (Which reminds me, I need to buy large index cards... I've started studying and I need the cards so TB and random strangers can help me study.) I am scheduled to take my certification exam on 3/28/09. (Which reminds me, I have to book my room for that Friday. Early morning test in the suburb.. I will not enjoy the ride.) Hmmm, I miss my memory. lol I think I look good at any weight... even when I was sitting at the door of 200 pounds, I thought I was hoooot so even though my lust handles bug me sometimes, the weight really isn't the issue... but mostly what's freaking me out... is how I feel. I miss my energy.

I still have a plenty, for those who know me. Kinda a spit fire... but if you can believe it... I used to have MORE. *suggestive eyebrow raise* I been finding a lot of old photos of "skinny me" lately and I guess I choose that as my sign to get it to friggin gether. I know there's a lot of opinions about detoxing and how it's ineffective and a "waste of time" and unhealthy, but whatever. I've done several safe ones. I'm weird, but I truly believe they rejuvenate you because they have you being one wid your body. They clear your mind, center you and release toxins as you rinse them out.* I guess I just think about how I've felt after them in the past... amazing. And since I already feel great wid everything in my life having greatness behind it... I imagine myself after this one feeling something near euphoric. I mean, really. Cleaner, lighter, brighter skin (after that ugly phase that comes wid detox) and a stronger core and clean palatte to start with as we welcome spring with all her glory and I release the butterfly... 2008 left off so great and 2009 has been magnificent thus far... and I'm gonna keep this peace wid me thru this year and until I leave this earth. (Dramatic, I know... but true.) I enjoy happiness... it feels great to say, "I'm happy" and really, really, really mean it.

Thank you, Jah for all the many blessings you have bestowed upon me thus far.... without your grace, where would I be? My family, my home, my love, my health... thank you. I know now, I am truly worthy

I'm ready to purge and spring clean to be truly truly free of all the yuckiness. Yah!

I wish I had a local buddy, detoxes are always easier wid a backbone, but I've done it solo before. But spring is the best time of the year to do a detox, so I am using that as my inspiration. I'm going to do the often-thought complex Master Cleanse (known in some circles as The Lemonade Diet) for 10-day detoxification. Break for 2-3 days as instructed. Then move into fresh juices and whole foods. 21 days total... then moving into JUST whole foods and high-quality H20... rounding out just in time for my exam. It's fool proof. *nervous face*

No coffee, nor alcohol, no meat, and well... I'll keep you posted! lol


*statements on detoxing are not approved by the FDA and no one should undergo a detox without first consulting his/her physician for guidance and safety

Stepping Out on Faith

It's weird being back in the Blogsphere.

Afterall, I stepped away to clear my mind, but had absolutely no intention on coming back. It's strange how I can come back a different person, yet so similar.

Since leaving I have realized a great many things and have grown so much. I am truly happy. Not that I wasn't before... I was. But it was a different kind of happy, you know?

Before.. I was single and ready to mingle.
Now... I am taken and in love.
Before... I lived in Michigan.
Now... I live in Illinois. (*sigh* Midwest forever!)
Before... I had no children.
Now... I have a beautiful sun.

Things are so different, yet better than ever. I had an easy-go-lucky pregnancy physically, but it was a bit of an emotional rollercoaster mentally. But I made it. I've been praying lots.. seriously considering a religion, and even my feelings about the constitution of marriage have skewed... well, slightly.

But wouldn't you know it, I still don't take no shit. I still loves me some shoes and handbags.. I still got stories for days and most of all:

I'm still Real. I'm still Black. I'm still real black Girl.

Did ya miss me?