Threesomes... for couples?

So, a friend of mine had an interesting proposal from her hubby: he wants to have a threesome before the year is over. Now, for more conservative folk this might be a shocker but in the new-age of sexual freedom and all that, is it really that much of a surprise? So, I've not yet been married, but is this permissable behavior for a COUPLE?

As a single person you have no ties to someone you wanna parlay with two other people of the same or mix-matches sexes. no one would blink about it. Do the damn thing. But in a couple, especially a couple that's planning to be together till death do us part, is it really a proper thing to do?

Well, my friend is seriously considering fufilling this fantasy of her hubby's. One, because he is her husband and she wants to fulfill his every desire, but also because I believe she is afraid that if SHE doesn't, he just may with someone else and a hot-to-trot friend who doesn't care about monogamy or marriage or unions. (*cough* whores)...

Well, I can't say I blame her for having the fear and considering the idea. BUT, I think there should be some rules:

1. New third party -- not one of her husband's ex "pretend" lesbian (girl)friends who would give anything to get him in the sack again. Even if that meant strappin his new wife.

2. No kissing. If it were me, kissing would be out of the question. Yes, I am one of those weird non-sensical people who thinks kissing is more intimate, more passionate, more meaningful than the act of sex.

3. Test it out. There must be a mandatory test among all willing parties, for the common STDs and the Big Kahuna. Of course, safe sex is necessary, but this test still needs to be admnistered for oral (if not prohibited).

4. No further contact. I HEAR the biggest problem with threesomes is the fact that someone (in this day, EITHER party) continues contact with the third behind the second half of the couple's back. Supreme no-no.

Of course, my personal opinion, because there are so many rules, one should save the act of a threesome for booty calls and the guy/girl you would never take home to mama. Role play, keep it interesting by any means necessary without bringing due stress to your situation. The last thing you wanna do is get divorced over a woman you introduced into your marriage.

I just listened to my friend, since she pretty much had her mind made up... but I was thinking all of this... bad idea in the long run.

What do you think? Got a rule to add?

"A man who truly, sincerely loves you, will adore you, will think of bein' with no other and he'll respect you and your privacy. He'll be more than eager to hear all you have to tell him but he will understand and respect your need for space."

“Above all, be true to yourself, and if you cannot put your heart it it, take yourself out of it."

~ Anonymous

Don't Cry... dry your eyes.

I have always been a crier. I cry when I am happy, sad, or angry. It is one of my biggest issues with myself. I don't necessarily see it as a sign of weakness but it would be nice to have sad and angry conversations without the water works. It irritates me, so I know it is probably less than savory for my debate counterpart.

One of my other issues is that I am obsessed with perfection. I know it doesn't exist... I know this, but that doesn't stop me from wanting to be as close to it as possible. In all things, my life, my sun, my relationship, I need it to be just perfect... for me.

I realize now that life is forever different for me with this new blessing (my child) in it. He makes me understand I deserve so much more because all that I am and will be, I give to him now. I made a decision to take a part-time job to be here for him more. Right now, it works for my family, and I appreciate the option to be able to do so.

Things are on their way to perfection...

I am learning to release myself from what's expected of me from friends and family members and pay attention to my own growing family. I firmly believe that one can not truly build on their current holding on to the past. That includes everything from exes, no-nothin-ass friends to pushy family members. You simply can't give your all to your family if your attention is focused elsewhere -- even for a minute. If you don't have it in you to completely rid yourself of those causing issues for your relationship then the possibility of survival is damaging. I'm ready to rid myself of the rest of the excess. I left the exes behind when I got with my partner and now, whoever's left who shouldn't be there because he/she is there without support but only negativity has to go too.

I'm tired of crying. Tired of feeling like no one cares about how I feel. Tired of explaining to people what they did wrong when they are not children. I know when I am doing something I shouldn't and they do too. If we don't own up to the knowledge that we could do things differently to be better people, we're destined to fail.

I've always been an overachiever. For me, failure has never been an option. I have yet to have a successful relationship... praying this one ends in Ozzie and Ruby-type ish, but I know now, that I will put my ALL into it. I will fight for it.. I will wipe off and stuff in blood, sweat and tears and if the second party is just as determined it will be lovely. I think I am there. Hope springs eternal. Failure is no longer an option.

I guess what I am trying to say is, if you're not ready to pass... please remove yourself from me.

Family matters.

(It's fine if this doesn't make sense.)