Imani

Recently, I have had to face all that was not right in my life. Why things happened the way they did... why I am not living my fairytale and most recently, trying to rectify wrongs caused by my behalf. I am not perfect... nor have I ever claimed to be. I cannot point the finger at anyone else for much of how the last couple years of my life played out... for I do believe everything happens for a reason... and every person serves a purpose... if only for a season.

The fact is, I did not take heed at many of the Creator's signs, lessons, prohibitions ... I witnessed myself transform into a different person for someone else. I could not part my lips and speak on stepping out on faith because I wasn't prepared to deal with what I had to tell him... what I wanted to tell him.... needed to tell him.

(Imani (Faith)
To believe with all our heart in our people, our parents, our teachers, our leaders and the righteousness and victory of our struggle.)

Then I felt respect and admiration from a friend whose feelings and words moved me in a way that I hadn't felt in so long. And it reignited me. Made me realize I was worthy, to be loved by a man who appreciated me and let me know that life is only what we make it and with whom. And I use today, the day of faith, to look forward with a different perspective. I miss my daddy, yes. But I still have my mother and we have grown so close. I have a sun, whose smile lights up my life. I have a sister, a niece and nephews who think I am sooo cool. And I know I am loveable... so my King is coming.

There are so many that I have learned from as I make mistakes in this life, trying to stake my claim in my next. I've been schooled about compassion, patience and opening my heart. I am grateful to those who taught me how to be understanding... and step out on faith and get myself together... and the lessons who have taught me that in order to properly be able to receive someone, the right way, is only when I have my shit together, myself together.

I have so many elders that I have listened to, taken lessons from through my nearing 29 years on this earth. I've looked up to them for their leadership and guidance, and I will take heed.

I'm going to lead by example for my seed... for since his birth he has taught me about my spirit and provided me with a loving template to show me that I can have a loving relationship with someone not based on confusing factors, sex, looks, money, stature, fame, or any of that bullshit.... but real, true, L-O-V-E.

As I continue to rebuild my family, my faith in FAMILY and us as a people overcoming the struggle grows stronger and my responsibilities to the people become more defined. I believe in my lifetime that we will see small victories that will eventually lead to the triumph over all that oppresses us (Obama, anyone?). I completely respect The Movement, but am grounded enough to respect reality and commitment to time and development of self to prosper and make change. Now if only I can get others to see that the self process is not only for ME, but for each of us. I thank the Creator daily on the paths I've crossed... even if those paths didn't lead to where I thought they might.

I draw heavily on the principle Imani to live, let go, and let God in the hustle and bustle of life, relationships and all its various journeys.

Peace be unto each of us... let's stake claim of our destiny in 2009 and every year hereafter... let nothing, or no one, hold you back. Fate is real.

Now, who wants to party and welcome the New Year with open arms? :)