Restore.

So, here I sit watching my sun sleep (still working on that own bed thing, but let me go a few weeks without nursing first... Today marks week one: bay-bee steps for real) and wondering why the hell I am up... I woke up out of my sleep like I heard a gunshot, texting my dear friend in a foreign land where the sun is up and work days are just getting started where over here the moon sleeps. In a mere 10 days, we enter a new year of hope and change and (hopefully) prosperity.

With that being said... there are 22 days until my 29th birthday. I approach it cautiously as I think about what all it is I've done in 29 years on this earth. My first instinct was to note the negative... things I had NOT done by this time that I jus knew at 21 I would have done by now. And to be honest with you, I can only come up with two: by now I thought I would have been 1. married and 2. a homeowner. Out of a list of several, I am pleased to say that the fact that I haven't YET (cause I will at some point) done either of those things it does not discount what I HAVE accomplished. I can honestly say, I am unequivocally happy and blessed with all that life has afforded me.

I mean, I was blessed to be able to attend college nearly free of charge, graduated in four years. Got my first job 6 months out of college to begin my career. I pledged an organization I've loved for a long time, I've extensively traveled the country and (slightly) abroad. I've gotten an advance degree practically free of charge. I've been in the presence of some great people. I've met and cried with the late Gwendolyn Brooks. I've laughed with Maya Angelou. I've sat on the top step of the Lincoln Memorial. I've loved and lost. I gave natural birth do a beautiful, healthy baby boy. I own a nice vehicle. I have a great credit score. I pay my bills on time. I just moved into a a wonderful home. I nor my sun, need for anything. I have great friends. I'm smart. Not bad on the eyes. Well spoken. Well versed. Quite spiritual. Try to be a good person....

Why do we forget all the good when we look into the eyes of a person who we don't feel is on our level, but somehow managed to steal our lover, get the promotion we were vying for, get married before we do, purchase a home before us... why do we discount all our good shit at the mere thought of someone else?

I vow today to never forget why I am so fricking awesome. And that's not being cocky... just sayin, I'm not half bad and I should always remember that. No man, no job, no person (other than the Creator and my child) should have to help me remember that.

I am gonna restore myself in 2009... remember the girl I used to be, the woman I've become and embrace life and the new things that it's offering me. I am going to stop living in the past. I am going to stop wondering what if and just act... and maybe what if will become "we did." I'm going to be happy and reflect it in everything I do. I am going to pray and meditate when negative thoughts try to fuck with my psyche. I am going to do and be better than what they think I am. I'm going to smile because I am blessed versus frown because you are an idiot. (Not YOU, dear reader... general you.)

I'm going to blog more.

I'm going to notice blessings and thank Jah for them. I am going to find a spiritual home. I am going to get healthier (again... and stay that way). I am going to get lifted.

All this falls under one New Year's "resolution": RESTORE. Me.

For shits and giggles... I am resurrecting this from the old RBG blog (man I miss that blog... boots to me for deleting it... I would have such a strong following by now. Restore.)

99 Things to Do In Life
Do this simple exercise with me to measure what you've done and what to do next. I'll put stars next to the one's I've done. (51/99 ~ not bad in 28 years... I'ma get started on most of the rest. A few I just have NO interest in doing like #77 and #99 lol)

1. Started my own blog*
2. Slept under the stars
3. Played in a band* (Our first song was a not-so-great rendition of "Hit Me With Your Best Shot" ... I was a drummer.
4. Visited Hawaii
5. Watched a meteor shower*
6. Given more than you can afford to charity* (My sororal dues count too, I imagine.)
7. Been to Disneyland/world*
8. Climbed a mountain
9. Held a praying mantis
10. Sang a solo*
11. Bungee jumped*
12. Visited Paris (I will make this a two-fer when I go visit my best friend in London. Day trip to Paris, anyone?)
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea (This would be such a dangerous turnon.)
14. Taught yourself an art from scratch*
15. Adopted a child
16. Had food poisoning *
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty*
18. Grown your own vegetables*
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France (See 12)
20. Slept on an overnight train*
21. Had a pillow fight*
22. Hitch hiked
23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill*
24. Built a snow fort
25. Held a lamb
26. Gone skinny dipping*
27. Run a Marathon
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice
29. Seen a total eclipse*
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset*
31. Hit a home run*
32. Been on a cruise
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors*
35. Seen an Amish community
36. Taught yourself a new language*
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied*
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person
39. Gone rock climbing
40. Seen Michelangelo’s David
41. Sung karaoke*
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
43. Bought a stranger a meal in a restaurant*
44. Visited Africa
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight*
46. Been transported in an ambulance
47. Had your portrait painted* (Caricature count?)
48. Gone deep sea fishing*
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris (#12)
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling*
52. Taken a walk in the rain*
53. Played in the mud*
54. Gone to a drive-in theater*
55. Been in a movie
56. Visited the Great Wall of China
57. Started a business*
58. Taken a martial arts class*
59. Visited Russia
60. Served at a soup kitchen
61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies
62. Gone whale watching
63. Gotten flowers for no reason*
64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma*
65. Gone sky diving
66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp
67. Bounced a check
68. Flown in a helicopter
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy*
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial*
71. Eaten caviar*
72. Pieced a quilt
73. Stood in Times Square*
74. Toured the Everglades
75. Been fired from a job*
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London (#12)
77. Broken a bone (Don't wanna do this one in life... sorry)
78. Been on a speeding motorcycle*
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person
80. Published a book
81. Visited the Vatican
82. Bought a brand new car*
83. Walked in Jerusalem
84. Had your picture in the newspaper*
85. Read the entire Bible
86. Visited the White House*
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating*
88. Had chickenpox*
89. Saved someone’s life*
90. Sat on a jury
91. Met someone famous*
92. Joined a book club*
93. Lost a loved one*
94. Had a baby*
95. Seen the Alamo in person
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake
97. Been involved in a law suit
98. Owned a cell phone*
99. Been stung by a bee