I am a very passionate person. I act on impulse... let my heart make a lot of decisions my head might normally not. I often think it's what makes me so awesome and others I think it will be my ultimate issue for... well, ever. My constant walk toward deeper spirituality, a closer relationship with God, and baptism has me really thinking about future and I was wondering at what point do I trust my mind over my heart? Or do I always just trust in God? And know that he'll make a way? Wouldn't you have to have like common sense though... What's that old saying... "God only protects fools and babies?" Well, I'm no baby!
I guess I've just got a lot on my mind. There's so much involved in being an adult. Unlike when we were teens we can't just worry all day about our nothing and what we'll do from day-to-day, but now we have bills, children and spouses to take care of; mortgages to pay; car notes and the like... I prayed about my job and all the change that was taking place and made (what I believe to be) a great decision about switching offices and I am happy with it... there's been a lot of talk of marriage in my life... I've thought since I was a little girl (even though I'd since let go of that dream) of the kinda wife I would be... and the marriage I would be in... the person who that would be... and so much has happened... so.very.much... that has tainted my image of "happily ever after," ruined my positivity, taken stabs at my esteem... so now I am in a new place. A place that won't allow myself to be anybody's second choice... won't settle for less than all of him, won't take your sh*t just to say I'm in a relationship.... I'm a good person who's made some mistakes. And I'm not ashamed of it. I am loyal until the end but will act out when I feel disrespected. I know where I want to be... and am willing to work together to get there. Dammit, I'm the best at all I do... I deserve the best. And I'm going to get it. I have faith.
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