One Time For Ya Mind...

I'm thinking about detoxing... with every facet of my life pleasing me, my waistline started tryin to grow on me. I am double cursed because I eat when I am distressed and I eat when I get comfortable and happy with certain situations, people, relationships. Now, the comfortability wouldn't be such a bad thing if I was still in my best shape and as active as I once was. But I am working on that. (Which reminds me, I need to buy large index cards... I've started studying and I need the cards so TB and random strangers can help me study.) I am scheduled to take my certification exam on 3/28/09. (Which reminds me, I have to book my room for that Friday. Early morning test in the suburb.. I will not enjoy the ride.) Hmmm, I miss my memory. lol I think I look good at any weight... even when I was sitting at the door of 200 pounds, I thought I was hoooot so even though my lust handles bug me sometimes, the weight really isn't the issue... but mostly what's freaking me out... is how I feel. I miss my energy.

I still have a plenty, for those who know me. Kinda a spit fire... but if you can believe it... I used to have MORE. *suggestive eyebrow raise* I been finding a lot of old photos of "skinny me" lately and I guess I choose that as my sign to get it to friggin gether. I know there's a lot of opinions about detoxing and how it's ineffective and a "waste of time" and unhealthy, but whatever. I've done several safe ones. I'm weird, but I truly believe they rejuvenate you because they have you being one wid your body. They clear your mind, center you and release toxins as you rinse them out.* I guess I just think about how I've felt after them in the past... amazing. And since I already feel great wid everything in my life having greatness behind it... I imagine myself after this one feeling something near euphoric. I mean, really. Cleaner, lighter, brighter skin (after that ugly phase that comes wid detox) and a stronger core and clean palatte to start with as we welcome spring with all her glory and I release the butterfly... 2008 left off so great and 2009 has been magnificent thus far... and I'm gonna keep this peace wid me thru this year and until I leave this earth. (Dramatic, I know... but true.) I enjoy happiness... it feels great to say, "I'm happy" and really, really, really mean it.

Thank you, Jah for all the many blessings you have bestowed upon me thus far.... without your grace, where would I be? My family, my home, my love, my health... thank you. I know now, I am truly worthy

I'm ready to purge and spring clean to be truly truly free of all the yuckiness. Yah!

I wish I had a local buddy, detoxes are always easier wid a backbone, but I've done it solo before. But spring is the best time of the year to do a detox, so I am using that as my inspiration. I'm going to do the often-thought complex Master Cleanse (known in some circles as The Lemonade Diet) for 10-day detoxification. Break for 2-3 days as instructed. Then move into fresh juices and whole foods. 21 days total... then moving into JUST whole foods and high-quality H20... rounding out just in time for my exam. It's fool proof. *nervous face*

No coffee, nor alcohol, no meat, and well... I'll keep you posted! lol


*statements on detoxing are not approved by the FDA and no one should undergo a detox without first consulting his/her physician for guidance and safety

What you think you know

...doesn't necessarily have much to do with reality.

(She) just hate me cause (she) ain't me! ~Busta Rhymes' character in Higher Learning

This will be a random ass blog post... about people who think they know, but have no idea. *tags it random before she forgets... OK, done* This post is to those of ya'll who don't have a clue. See, everybody (no matter your IQ, social and/or political standing, religious/sexual preference etc) gets MAD love from RBG. :)

Boo, he's just not that into you... and who the eff cares?!

I'm so tired of that phrase... I almost want to kill the writers of Sex and the City for ever coining the phrase for the jackass who then in turn wrote the book. I mean, do you REALLY think we women don't know when a man ain't feeling us?! *giggles profusely* We know, we just often think we can change his mind. LOL

I had a long IM conversation wid my homegirl one evening a lil over a week ago... telling her how well my conversation went the day before and how mm mm good breakfast was the morning after (whoever thought to put cheese grits with catfish is a genius!) and how I had my epiphany while speaking to my sisterfriend. But not until I had to listen to her whole sordid story entitled... Life Dating the Emotionally-Detached Brother. It's a comedy, it's a "love" story, it is pure unadulterated buffoonery. And we EACH have been there, ladies.

It generally starts with the set.up. It usually sounds something like, "I'm not looking for a relationship... right now." Now, while I do respect men who can broadcast this, it's really like, dude, I just asked you what we were eating for dinner! This is usually the first sign that he's not going to be exactly what you need... because we, as women, aren't generally proned to sleeping wid a man, just because. No catches, no strings, no worries. Don't get me wrong, we CAN do it. But for the most part we opt not to. But when you do opt to, be ready for the hardship b/c itz usually the ones wid so much potential that do this. So you're bound to fail. If you are apart of that lucky 20%* who actually gets the man to see your fabulous traits while you tuck all your crazy inside... cheers to you, doll... but that other 80%* ain't changing their mind. And it's been my experience that they always go for someone who's NOT on your level, at all. And sometimes it's a better level... live, learn and let.it.go. Cause K. Cole said it best...

If he ain't gonna love you, the way he should you need to let him go...

Ladies, please let's stop trying to hold on to these men who don't want us, don't want to treat us right, with somebody else and you think he coming back to you. It's ridiculous! I said last year that I was done trying to make some herb love me the way I deserve to be loved. I might give him some helpful prodding into all my delicate and intricate ways of thinking, living, independent-spirit nature, but that's about all I can do. Itz easy to pick up on all my not-so subtle hints of what makes me happy, feel loved so that I can be the best me to you I can be.

If I hear one more female say, "yeah he wid her but he thinking bout me tho" I will scream. No, boo, that's very unlikely. If he was thinking about you, he would be with you. Or at least paying you some attention. Stop tryin to do all these grand gestures, declarations, busting his windows out his car... it's not gonna make him love you the right way. Meanwhile, you're prolly looking over a cat who really does want to love your ass. "I know HE loves me, but he'll just have to deal wid it, if I can make you love me." Are you serial? Let's do better in 2009, ladies and really, really get down to the heart of the matter. And let that other crap rest. "You don't get the picture? The picture's in his wallet!" ~Lil Kim

If the Queen is happy, the whole Kingdom is euphoric. I guarantee you.
To my guys... I have a secret. When your woman is happy, you will always be happy! It is a little-known, highly true fact. It's really simple... you keep us happy and all else will be just fine. You'll get fed, loved, sexed like a porn star and great home life. I can't tell you what makes your woman happy... that's all up to you, but take heed and be well.

This is my last relationship rant post for a while... back to sunflowers and gumdrops! :-)

*Facts and figures have not been tested, proven or tallied by anyone who knows what she is talking about!

Disturbing Behavior

So my friends have been coming out the woodworks wid men issues the past two weeks... and I've even had my own. All of which spawned me to think about the morality in dating and love for a few days and I was conflicted on how to get this post jumpin... there were so many issues I wanted to cover and then realized I was getting redundant. So I have tried to make myself more concise, and sum up the major bullet points that were my hodgepodge of thoughts.


"How can I really love you, if I don't trust you?"

I have always been a flirt... sometimes I think it's in my DNA. But I do it subconsciously most of the time (unless I am trying to get drinks for the whole table of married/taken women out of some unsuspecting young man at a club or lounge) and it is usually harmless and done in jest. I try to be more conscious of it when I am in a relationship because I don't want to be misread. Luckily for me tho, guys don't think that much into it, so if a woman is flirting with them, but then later doesn't give them the time of day, he shrugs it off and forgets about her... generally.

Women are usually not one in the same... especially if that woman is single. If you, a man, flirt with her, and you're attractive to her, I guarantee you on some level she's going to want to wonder what it might be like to be with you rather on an emotional or sexual level... and do (in many cases) whatever she must to continue that interest... whether you are taken or not. Because a majority of them are scandalous every woman likes to feel wanted. Point blank period. And if she is in a relationship where her current isn't often telling her how much he appreciates her, her body, her humor, her scent, her beauty and this random handsome over here will... she's more susceptible to listen. And this is how cheating ensues. And listen carefully when I say, cheating does not always have to be sexual in nature. It is also emotional. Carrying on conversations (verbal, textual, written) that you know your spouse or significant other would hang you over is rude and unacceptable. For it is that emotional connection that binds us first, and then we want to see what that do in bed. I'm not saying it's right... I'm just saying it is what it is. Don't shoot the messenger it is the truth. It is also important to add here that if you are in a relationship and the person you're flirting wid knows you're spoken for but still chumming it up it GENERALLY makes them wonder about your moral code... but not for long cause we as humans, are always, always gonna do what we want to do and what makes us feel good.

Then when all this occurs, someone has cheated... the trust is broken at that very moment it's brought to light. (And all things done in the dark will come to light.) It's very hard to come back from that. For me, trust is not given right off the bat -- several of my homegirls disagree wid this approach, but the way I feel is I can't trust someone I don't know... that's like trusting the dude walkin next to you, not knowin if he's a pickpocket, a rapist or otherwise... I'm not sayin I be on the defensive wid every guy I meet, but I ain't gwan let him hold my pocketbook. Seen? So when I finally do entrust my heart into you and accept you as my King, I expect you to act accordingly and I therefore trust you until you give me a reason not to. But what happens when someone puts him or herself in a position to be human and make mistakes... is there amnesty for that? Unfortunately it's hard to get trust back ... sometimes it's impossible... especially if your behavior and attitude don't change. And it's damn hard to love someone you don't trust... which is why I always sever ties... why make things difficult for both of us.

*authors note: I would probably be willing to consider counseling if I were married and if the other person were willing... notice how I know it would him who cheated. I don't put myself in compromising positions to cheat. Take note.


I love you... but I'm not IN love wid you
OK, seriously man... wtf? How have we been dating for months, damn near living together, blending families and you're not "in love?" I'll kill you... to my homie girl, choke.him.out. That is all.

I want to marry you, eventually
I think of Steve Harvey who is constantly yelling at women in that loud southern drawl that men don't need forever to know they want you as their wife and that money matters are generally a cop out. While I do respect the gangster of a man who can share a household, often a child(ren) and debt with a woman without a marriage certificate but hasn't popped the question, I do it not for the reasons you think I might. I only respect it, because that's Jah's way of telling that woman to get the hell out. "So let me get this straight... we married, everywhere but on paper... you want me to cosign for a car, but can't solidify this before God and a hundred of our closest friends and family?" Kill yaself. lol

Relationships are not a 70/30 split
The other day I bought dinner for my potential king and I... while I was out picking up dinner, he washed my dishes. I couldn't help but smile at the flash forward of making sure to always play your role. It made me think how nice it could be as an Us...

It's good to find a man who understands the importance of compromise. And before you yell, talkin bout "RBG, those men don't exist dammit!" Allow me to tell you that they DO, but just are few and far between. Not only are they out there, but they looking for you too. Sometimes they come in a different shell than your fairytale made them appear, but all the important components (honest, loving, sentimental, romantic... all that girly shit you care about) are there. You just have to look deep within his eyes.

Never make someone your priority when you're only an option to them
I cried and cried... and cried when I left my last relationship. Wondering why I couldn't be everything he needed... Bawling bout how I gave him my all... till one day my homeboy said... "well, why on earth would you do that, dear, when he wasn't giving you all of him? Never make someone priority when you're only an option to him. I taught you better" And I dried my eyes and began healing.

As women, it's second nature to give all of ourselves in a relationship but we never really figure out the cost:benefit ratio. I will put as much as I am giving into a relationship, so it's important to give the very best of you and I will reciprocate accordingly.

It is only when we learn to notice and combat these disturbing behaviors that we will truly have successful relationships, marriages, families... I refuse to believe Ossie and Ruby made it as far as they did not understanding the basic principles on preserving black love. I can't wait to see what their book teaches me. Thanks, birthday fairy.